After I straightened out the curled up corners and removed the 7 layers of dust from the cover, I sighed. You know it well, sigh with me, that sound of determined resignation that threatens,
"Either I'm gonna win . . . or I'm pitching you in the trash."
I do believe this thing is destined to live at the landfill.
As you know, if you've read this blog even once, I am a crocheter. I prefer crochet. I like one hook over two needles. One hand free to manipulate the yarn the way it was meant to be manipulated. I don't knit. I know HOW to knit (not purl) and I know that it takes the manual dexterity of a texting teenager to master it. I don't text well, either. It's no wonder the greater American teen population can't spell!
The book is, you guessed it,
Knitting for Dummies.
Please, help me.
Tell me there is another one out there called Knitting for MORONS because that's the one I apparently need! Can you tell I'm exasperated? There is a mental block somewhere (yes, I know. It's my head). For some reason unknown to me I can't easily learn things that I think I should be able to learn easily. I'm a crafty person. I make ALL kinds of crap! Just ask my husband.
I can lay a brick wall quicker than I can knit a scarf! I know how to wire a house, change the oil in a car, repair a flat tire (yes, that's REPAIR as in putting it in a tire cage and all that). I can hang dry wall and lay carpet. I know how to use a table-saw! I even know how to use a cardboard box as a temporary seal in a carburetor. (It won't last but it will get you to the auto-parts store). I can sew on a button, Tye-dye a shirt, iron pants, braid hair, heck I even cut hair for my son and husband! I can can chow-chow, grow tomatoes, draw with a pencil (not that computer art stuff). I also paint. I even know how to bake a cake! From scratch!
I have a knot on my head and a bruise on my brain from beating my head against my brick wall. Yes. My brick one. Remember? The one I built earlier?
Apparently, not only am I closer to cement than my molecular makeup tells me, I'm apparently a concrete learner when it comes to knitting. Which means someone is going to have to SHOW ME.
Look out YouTube, here I come. Or maybe I'll visit the FREE e-Tips at dummies.com. *sigh*
I can't review this book because I can't get past the first chapter. But I will NOT send it to the landfill. I will instead, mail it to my lovely daughter Kat, from Kat Knap Crafts, and have HER review it for you.
My sanity and my health demand it.
Did anyone see where I put the Advil?
Peace and blessings,
THE REAL REVIEW:
Knitting for Dummies is well written and has lots of pictures. Which is why I thought I wouldn't have an issue learning how to purl and do cable stitches, etc, etc. Although I personally have a problem learning how to knit YOU may not. I encourage you to go to the local library and check it out for yourself. Then if you like it, buy it. I also suggest getting the updated version, not this outdated 2002 model that I have.
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