Thursday, January 23, 2014

A Book Review? Oh boy, here we go . . .

I've had this particular book for a couple of years (*looks at calendar* oh, more like 10 years) and I've dabbled with it some (nothing past Chapter One, mind you) and I decided to pull it back out. Literally, PULL it back out from the darkest recesses of my closet floor. You know what I'm talking about. That corner where our "oh-my-goodness-I-can't-stand-to-work-on-this-thing-anyMORE!" goes. Yup, I knew you knew what I was talking about.

After I straightened out the curled up corners and removed the 7 layers of dust from the cover, I sighed. You know it well, sigh with me, that sound of determined resignation that threatens, 
"Either I'm gonna win . . . or I'm pitching you in the trash."

I do believe this thing is destined to live at the landfill.

As you know, if you've read this blog even once, I am a crocheter. I prefer crochet. I like one hook over two needles. One hand free to manipulate the yarn the way it was meant to be manipulated. I don't knit. I know HOW to knit (not purl) and I know that it takes the manual dexterity of a texting teenager to master it. I don't text well, either. It's no wonder the greater American teen population can't spell!

I digress.

The book is, you guessed it,
Knitting for Dummies.

Please, help me.

Tell me there is another one out there called Knitting for MORONS because that's the one I apparently need! Can you tell I'm exasperated? There is a mental block somewhere (yes, I know. It's my head). For some reason unknown to me I can't easily learn things that I think I should be able to learn easily. I'm a crafty person. I make ALL kinds of crap! Just ask my husband.

I can lay a brick wall quicker than I can knit a scarf! I know how to wire a house, change the oil in a car, repair a flat tire (yes, that's REPAIR as in putting it in a tire cage and all that). I can hang dry wall and lay carpet. I know how to use a table-saw! I even know how to use a cardboard box as a temporary seal in a carburetor. (It won't last but it will get you to the auto-parts store). I can sew on a button, Tye-dye a shirt, iron pants, braid hair, heck I even cut hair for my son and husband! I can can chow-chow, grow tomatoes, draw with a pencil (not that computer art stuff). I also paint. I even know how to bake a cake! From scratch!

I have a knot on my head and a bruise on my brain from beating my head against my brick wall. Yes. My brick one. Remember? The one I built earlier?

Apparently, not only am I closer to cement than my molecular makeup tells me, I'm apparently a concrete learner when it comes to knitting. Which means someone is going to have to SHOW ME.

Look out YouTube, here I come. Or maybe I'll visit the FREE e-Tips at *sigh*

I can't review this book because I can't get past the first chapter. But I will NOT send it to the landfill. I will instead, mail it to my lovely daughter Kat, from Kat Knap Crafts, and have HER review it for you.

My sanity and my health demand it.

Did anyone see where I put the Advil?

Peace and blessings,

Knitting for Dummies is well written and has lots of pictures. Which is why I thought I wouldn't have an issue learning how to purl and do cable stitches, etc, etc. Although I personally have a problem learning how to knit YOU may not. I encourage you to go to the local library and check it out for yourself. Then if you like it, buy it. I also suggest getting the updated version, not this outdated 2002 model that I have.

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  1. LOL- I can't knit either. I blame it on the fact that I'm left handed. I should try again- I'm sure there are left handed vibe. I just prefer crochet and am not that motivated to learn to knit.

    1. There are some videos that show left hand knitting. I haven't watched them - otherwise I might know a thing or two even though I'm right handed. Lol

    2. Knitting left-handed is actually called "Continental Style". I'm dominantly right-handed as well, but believe it or not, I have taught myself how to knit left-handed because it is FASTER than knitting right-handed.

    3. That's interesting. So if you can do both right and left hand "styles" you never really have to turn your work unless you just want to?

  2. I actually learned to knit first . but once I learned to crochet! I didn't like knitting any more. Although there are some projects that are better knitted.

    1. Agreed, there are something that look better knitted. Which is why I've always wanted to learn.
      Plus, working two needles like lightening would so rock.

  3. I completely understand the frustration with knitting. The first and foremost being that it takes a long time. Unfortunately, this is just a bi-product of being a crocheter trying to learn to knit. Knitting projects take much longer than crocheting projects. (I've been working on a scarf for my boyfriend for a good two weeks now! Not constantly, but I would have had it finished 8 days ago had I been crocheting it. And I've been knitting for eight years! It should also be noted that I've been crocheting for fourteen.) But it also uses less yarn! I encourage everyone to keep at it. Knitting is truly a great craft, and not to mention it expands your marketing horizons like no other! (Something I harp on frequently... Okay, incessantly!) Also, if knitting is just absolutely, 100%, NOT YOUR THING, there are ways to crochet a "knit stitch". Mother, you and I will sit down and teach you how to knit if you really want to learn. I have inherited your kinesthetic learning block, so I understand your pain.

  4. heh. I understand. I have the same issue with cars. I swear, I can do anything. Take anything apart. Learn how to try new things. No fear. Fixing a car - absolutely no interest. I give not one damn how it works and don't want to know more than turn the key. Thus far - I'm managed to stay ignorant and that's ok with me! lol.

    1. LoL
      I had to know how to change a tire and check the fluids before my dad would let me get my license. The rest of that knowledge came from hanging around boys as I was growing up. Never was one for fancy shoes or dresses. =D

  5. So very funny. I love your blog. Yes, knitting was the same way for me until someone actually showed me how to do it. Youtube was my second teacher so I guest we both learn visually. I won't even go into how text-challenging I am.

    I get on the phone to text my older son and my younger one sighs, says 'hand it here' and in 1 second the message is sent and I'm receiving the reply. I won't win a texting contest any time soon.

    1. My son does the same with me! Lol
      One day I want to do that to him but it's gonna have to be in the kitchen or the laundry room, not with all this techie stuff. =)